I have had Clarissa Pinkola Estes’s book on my shelf for a long while. It has gathered dust which I occasionally wipe away with my index finger. Sometimes I just look at the dust and let it reside where it wants.
Recently I was reminded of her work. It’s time I think for me to be associated with her wisdom, reacquainted with her soothing, wise voice and to learn about the treasures within, to heal, to refill the well per-se. So I will begin by listening to one of her audio books, Warming the Stone Child.
The book which has gathered dust on my shelf however is her tome on the Women who Run with Wolves. I am drawn and intrigued at how Estes draws a parallel between a Woman and a wolf. A Wolf and a Woman.
I love wolves. If I could, I would keep one home with me and she would follow me wherever I went, or didn’t go. She would be my shadow, my light, my muse, my best mate.
Wolves are truly special beings. If you don’t think so, I’d urge you to look one in the eye and then you’ll know for sure!
They are Wild. They are Precious. They love their pack and are devoted to their tribe. And they are Loyal. And loyalty always gets me! Fabulous values. A pity that not all us humans embody these good qualities within our own lives.
Today I found this quote by Estes. It is quote that is quite hard to read initially perhaps because of its truth but it spoke to me as it is kind of how I’ve been feeling for a little while:
There is a time in our lives, usually in mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision – possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out.” Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. There may be broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.
Ah the broken heart; the broken promises…the choice to be bitter or not.
But there are options. Oh yes, so I’ve been told. Options that are available to women (and wolves, men too) and this is:
Everything from quiescence to camouflaging to pulling back the ears, baring the teeth and lunging for the throat.
And I liked it most when she said:
Going for the kill is something to be used in rare, rare, rare cases.
She then smiles and takes a sip from a diet soda.