desire, does not, equate to being valued


what I never
from my mother
was that
just because
someone desires you
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
eats you
leaves you starving.

“Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you”.

Read it over.


“Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you”.

Let these words seep deep through you, through your veins, your bones, and settle, albeit uncomfortably, in your mind.

These are the colours of your self-esteem.

I encourage you to do so because these are profound and meaningful words from a wonderful poet/artist, Nayyirah Waheed. And with anything profound, you need to read it more than once for once is never enough.  Read it a hundred times if you can. And if you can, leave some space between each reading, as each time a different word or phrase will embed itself within your soul.

Now when I say soul I don’t mean soul in the overused new-age sort of way.  No.

When I say SOUL, I mean SOUL.


When I say soul I am talking about who YOU are at the very CORE of your being.

The centre of your SELF. The ESSENCE of you.

That part of you that lies right the centre of your chest or in the depth of your belly that when you press hard, it hurts.  It is the ‘I’ within that you may have just started to explore its existence. The ‘I’ in you that you may probably spend your entire lifetime trying to figure out.  And you never will.  So give up. And just be. I have.


Nayyirah Waheed is phenomenal. She is phenomenal because she has the capacity to talk to me even though we’ve never met in a language that surpasses mere words. She reminds me that I’m alive. And I’m grateful to anyone who can do that. Her words have the capacity to remove all the debris that have formed and gathered itself on your psyche like rust on steel; cutting through the crap, stripping it away, leaving your heart bare and raw. She then leaves you to do the polishing work yourself. She starts the process but you do the work.

I’ve posted some of her pieces on my blog before from her anthology of poems called ‘salt’.  Perhaps her words may resonate with you too?  Let me know, if you want.

Be kind.

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I'm a woman living in London and this blog captures what lands within my sight and connects with my psyche. I expect it to evolve naturally. It is a place I shall visit from time to time and where things that I am touched by deeply will find a soft place to land. As a psychotherapist and a continuing student, most of the articles you shall find here will somehow, in some way, be related to therapy and well-being. I love comments, so feel free to add yours, whenever and however. I wish you well.

29 thoughts on “desire, does not, equate to being valued”

    1. Thank you for your kind comments. I love quotes and what they stir within me which I then start to write about before sharing it here. I agree with you that words do have power along with images too, for example my latest post of me and my mum. Now looking at that was a powerful emotional experience for me. Be well.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi There! So happy I found this blog while searching for Nayyirah Waheed.”I’ve posted some of her pieces on my blog before from her anthology of poems called ‘salt’. Perhaps her words may resonate with you too? Let me know, if you want” – I WANT!


    Liked by 1 person

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